


Ash

by wynnebat



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Spoilers, Canonical Character Death, First Kiss, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-29
Updated: 2018-04-29
Packaged: 2019-04-29 10:56:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14471175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wynnebat/pseuds/wynnebat
Summary: He should’ve paid less attention to the kid’s lips and his guilt over it, should’ve been less hot and cold, should’ve known there wouldn’t always be tomorrow. “I’m so sorry, Peter.”





	Ash

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Español available: [Ceniza](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14496411) by [Sthefy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sthefy/pseuds/Sthefy)



“I don’t know what’s happening,” Peter’s saying, but he does. His eyes are wide with fear as he falls into Tony’s arms.

Tony’s gripping him too hard, but Peter doesn’t cry out. Strange is gone, Quill and the others too, but Tony doesn’t give a shit about them, not when there’s a someone in his arms who’ll never cry out with excitement or look at him with as much joy as Peter always does. _I dragged him into this mess,_ Tony thinks. _It should be me. Please, just let it be me._ Peter’s just a kid, half as young as Tony had been when he’d become Iron Man and twice as gutsy. _He’s too young. Too good._ Tony hasn’t ruined him like he has every other fucking thing in his life. _Please_.

“Tony, please, I don’t want to go.” Peter’s pushing back instead of holding close, but he doesn’t go far. Just enough for his brown eyes to meet Tony, the terror in his gaze “I don’t want to go.”

“I’m sorry,” Tony rasps, and it’s not good enough. It’s never good enough—he’s never good enough—to do anything, but it’s all he has. He just barely registers that Peter’s calling him by his first name and it feels like he’s breaking in two. Fuck, he should’ve just said it, he should’ve said _just call me Tony_ and meant it, gotten the kid into the habit instead of hearing Mr. Stark and Iron Man from his lips all the goddamn time. He should’ve paid less attention to the kid’s lips and his guilt over it, should’ve been less hot and cold, should’ve known there wouldn’t always be tomorrow. “I’m so sorry, Peter.”

It’s just that Tony always thought he would die first.

Peter swallows, trying to say something but shaking too much to get it out. His hands leave their place around Tony and for a moment Tony’s heart stops, but no, not yet. Peter’s hands only settle on Tony again, one hand against his cheek, fingers curling toward the back of his neck, the other on his shoulder.

“Tony,” Peter says, his voice breaking.

Tony waits for another plead to stab into his heart, but it doesn’t come. Peter’s lips meet his own instead, bloody and dusty and warm against Tony’s, and Tony feels as though it’s him who’s breaking apart as he kisses him back. Peter’s not hesitant, his grip too tight around Tony and his lips are kiss hard enough to bruise. He’s solid against Tony, and Tony grips the back of the suit he made for this kid and tugs on his hair as he pulls him in deeper. Just a little more, just a little closer, just maybe he won’t go. There’s tears against his skin, but they’re not Tony’s.

Tony refuses to close his eyes and Peter’s eyes are hooded, open just enough for Tony to see every bit of desperation and panic and desire in his gaze. _Just let me_ — _just let it be me_.

Eyes wide open, he sees Peter turn to dust, disappearing from his hair to his eyes to those hands that had gripped him so tightly. There’s nothing left of him but for the ache in Tony’s lips and the knowledge that nothing will be the same again.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I'm still crying over on [tumblr](https://crownwithoutstones.tumblr.com/).


End file.
